I really enjoyed Dr. Glenn Latham’s
video clip, “Coercion”. In his discussion he said that, coercive parenting
brings fear, avoidance, and rebelliousness among children. Dr. Latham went on
to say that at the age of fourteen, rebelliousness begins to occur or the
concept of getting “even”. They do this by participating in drugs, sex,
alcohol, failing grades, destructive friendships, and antisocial behaviors. I
believe the reason why parents are so tempted to use this parenting style is
because of the immediate results it brings. They think just because a kids
stops screaming or fighting, that the coercive parenting style was effective.
This is an easy way to parent. It isn’t patient, kind, soft spoken,
compassionate. Parenting with those virtues can be really hard work sometimes,
especially after long days or stressful weeks. Dr. Latham finishes his
presentation by saying, “Do not suppose that short-term compliance achieved using
coercive means leads to long-term gain…Coercion produces only short-term
compliance followed by long-term losses.” I couldn’t agree more. Don’t be the
parent who constantly yells at their children, spanks, and seems to always be demeaning
them in some way. Not only does it make you feel bad, but it is very damaging
to children’s self- esteem, confidence, and image. This behavior causes lots of
damage in the long run in families that takes years to mend. Realizes now how
destructive those styles of teaching are and start overcoming this by seeking
ways to mend the problem such as parenting classes that teach correct
principles. This will help you to be more patient with my young children now so
that when they become teenagers and adults, they respect you for respecting
them. I always was taught the Golden Rule, Do unto others as you would have
others to do you. Start explaining the doctrines behind the principle instead
of just dealing out punishments with no explanation. I know that these
tendencies are common among parents, but I truly believe that through the
Atonement of Jesus Christ we are able to have are weakness become our strengths
and can overcome our bad habits. Parenting is hard work, but I believe that if
we are patient and loving, hard times will go over so much more smoothly than
if we weren’t.
Dr. Glenn Latham’s Video: Coercion
Helpful Steps to Discipline:
Step1: Understand how you
deal with feelings.
Step 2: Believe that your child’s negative emotions are an
opportunity for closeness and teaching.
Step 3: Listen with empathy and understanding, then validate
your child’s feelings.
-Share simple
observations
-Avoid questions
you already know the answer to
-Share examples
from your own life
Step 4: Label your child’s emotions
Step 5: Set limits while exploring possible solutions to the
problem that caused the negative emotion.
-Set limits
-Identify goals
-Think of possible
solutions
-Evaluate the
proposed solutions based on your family values
-Help your child choose a solution
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